SHAKE!
by bornonhalloween
Summary: Can a sweet salesgirl with car problems close the deal when a hot mechanic decides to go shopping for something that vibrates? A birthday collabadabble for Sandy Southern, a very, very sweet girl with a thing for hot mechanic guys. With love & smooches from BOH and Postapocalypticdepository. Rated M for stuff.
1. Chapter 1

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**Chapter 1**

BPOV

"Morning, Bella. How was your weekend? Sold anything yet?"

_Meet James, a.k.a. Brookstone's reigning Southern Region Manager of the Year. _

_Have I mentioned he's an annoyingly optimistic, creepy old guy with a ponytail?_

"It's 9:05, James. Been a little slow this morning."

He whacks me on the back, jostling the name tag on my corporate-issue blue button-down.

"Good one, Bella! Remember, move the massage chairs. That's where the bonus bucks are."

Bonus bucks would be sweet. My shitbox of a Honda coughed and sputtered its way into the parking lot, and I pray it'll get me home.

* * *

** A/N:** **In honor of the birthday of our very sweet friend, Sandy Southern, who works really hard and loves her hot mechanic. We'll be posting our collabadabble here in 100-word chapters until it's complete! The BPOV's are written by BOH, the EPOV's are Postapocalypticdepository.**

**We really hope you enjoy it, Sandy! MWA**H!

**xoxo**

**~BOH and PAD**


	2. Chapter 2

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**Chapter 2**

EPOV

"May I recommend an, all-season radial? If you buy all four tires, we throw in balancing, alignment, and a lifetime road hazard warranty, providing you routinely bring your car in to have rotations."

_Here comes the long, red, manicured nail, scratching over my work shirt down my chest._

"If I bring my little ole car back, will you promise me to be the only one who touches her?"

Shit!

Not another one.

I've had all the cougars I can handle, and it's only Monday.

I need to get out of here, so I can buy my mom her birthday present.

* * *

** A/N: **

**Poor guy, I think Edward needs to be careful who he rotates.**

**Sandy, have a happy birthday and many more.**

**This is for all of your wonderful words and the beautiful person you are.**

**We hope you enjoy our gift.**

**PAD**


	3. Chapter 3

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**Chapter 3**

BPOV

"How's your boyfriend?" James asks, a moronic grin tugging his mouth into what he probably believes is an irresistible smile. I'd take the lo mein stir fry kid over my asshole manager any day of the week.

"He almost got my order right tonight."

"Not the customer repellants again!"

"Yup."

"You know what to do," James says.

_Fuck it. _We haven't had a customer since 4:30, and I like onions! James gasps as I dangle the treacherous scallion above my open lips and let it drop.

Just as I swallow the breath-fouling morsel, a customer appears out of nowhere.

* * *

**A/N: She'll be sooooorrrrrry! It seems the birthday girl has finally joined the party. WOOHOO! **

**xxx ~BOH**


	4. Chapter 4

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**Chapter 4**

EPOV

As I'm driving into our local mall, I'm thinking for once I'd just like to have a girl my age interested in me.

Being hit on by older women gets tiring fast, but I can't complain about the tips they shove in my pockets just for doing my job.

And right now, I need all the money I can get for the massage chair I plan on buying mom for her poor circulation.

She'll hate me spending the money, but she's my mom.

So here I am at Brookstone about to go into hock for furniture I know nothing about.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Don't you just love a boy who loves his mama?**

**Wouldn't you love one like him?**

**PAD**


	5. Chapter 5

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**Chapter 5**

BPOV

The guy's gorgeous.

Meanwhile, the scallion explodes in my throat. And please tell me that's not . . . oh hell, it is. A little piece of noodle stuck to my chin.

Did I mention he's GORGEOUS?

Tall and fit, bright green eyes that won't let go, and . . .

"Bella! Brookstone to Bella!"

"_What_?" Oops, I probably shouldn't snap at my boss, but what the hell is he still doing here? This is _my _customer, buddy

I poke the chopsticks into my lo mein and shove the box into James's hand. "Thanks, I got this."

James crinkles his nose. "Your breath . . ." he whispers, "_ba-a-a-a-ad_."

* * *

**A/N: And they meet. More soon.**

**XXX ~BOH**


	6. Chapter 6

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**Chapter 6**

EPOV

This kind of store is a little too upscale for me.

I feel self-conscious enough as it is, reeking of oil, raunchy rubber, and a day's work, so when this beautiful brown-eyed brunette sales girl about my age wanders over, I can barely get out my words.

"Can I interest you in anything, tonight, Edward?"

_Oh, if she only knew._

"As a matter of fact, B-Bella, I'm looking for a massage chair for someone with circulation problems. What would you suggest?"

"We have the perfect one for you. Would you like to try out our OSIM uDivine App Massage Chair?"

* * *

**A/N:**

**What was that poor boy thinking, going in to a store like that, dressed as he is?**

**Will Bella take one look and turn him away?**

**PAD**


	7. Chapter 7

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**Chapter 7**

BPOV

This guy needs a massage . . . and then some. I thought I'd had a long day until Edward walked through our doors. Poor guy's been through the wringer. Something about him makes me want to knead away every last drop of tension in that crazy hot body.

"Oh-simm? Appawhat? Sorry, it's been a long day."

God, he looks so damn vulnerable. His shirt is missing a button, and grease marks cover every square inch of his tight uniform.

There's something poking out his pocket just above his name . . . Is that a twenty?

His eyes have followed mine.

"Oh . . . that's not . . . shit."

* * *

**A/N: Oh hot mechanic guy, you seem to be quite the mess! I just don't know how these two are ever going to get together between the onion breath and the grease . . . *GRINS* **

**Have I mentioned how much fun it is to tumble through a gdoc with PAD? We're having cursor wars over there. I love a fun collab!**

**XXX ~BOH**


	8. Chapter 8

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**Chapter 8**

EPOV

Fuck!

She sees the bills tucked in my belt and stuffed in my Dickies.

It's bad enough she saw the one in my shirt.

Damn!

Judging by the look on her face, she must think I strip.

"M-miss, please. You have the wrong impression. Um, I'm a mechanic and tire guy. Women sometimes give me tips, but with me full of grease, it's not feasible for them to hand me money. What you see are their creatively placed gratuities."

_There, that ought to squelch her curiosity. The less said, the better._

Accepting my response, she bats her gorgeous store-lit eyes.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Hot stripper mechanicward in this story? Sadly no, but he is hot and is a mechanic. That has to count for something. And judging by Bella's batting lashes, I think it does. What do you think? **

**PAD**


	9. Chapter 9

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**Chapter 9**

BPOV

Where's the hidden camera?

A hot as fuck guy drops into my life, into _my _Brookstone, in need of a massage chair, and oh, by the way, just happens to be a mechanic? On top of all that, he is absurdly cute with all his earnest explaining.

"It's not your fault your customers want to shove money down your pants."

He blushes bright pink and looks away. Good thing I didn't add that if I had a spare dollar, there's nowhere I'd rather tuck it.

"So . . . you were saying about the Sim thing?"

"Yes, of course, come have a seat."

* * *

**A/N: Mr. Earnest. How can it be his fault women shove money down his pants? **

**Are you guys flinching right now as Greaseward gets ready to set his adorable little ass in that fine chair? You grease it, you buy it, buddy!**

**XXX ~BOH**


	10. Chapter 10

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**Chapter 10**

EPOV

_Shit! I'm grimy!_

"This is our most popular model."

"I really don't think I should be sitting in one right now. I'm not exactly dressed to be trying out furniture . . . "

_Oh, God! Bella's face fell. She thinks I'm going to bail on her._

"I'll be getting off soon, sooner that is, getting off work sooner, tomorrow. Will you be here tomorrow or will you be getting off, too? Sorry, that didn't come right, come out right, I mean."

"Edward, I know what you you mean. I'll be getting off at seven. Will that work for you?"

* * *

**A/N: **

**Geez, Edward, coming and getting off, what _is_ a girl to think? What are _you_ thinking?**

**PAD**


	11. Chapter 11

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**Chapter 11**

BPOV

Too pushy? Maybe he's having second thoughts? Hell, he's probably seen the price tag. Any normal person would have second thoughts after that.

I know we're trained to close the deal, but what if I just took away this guy's only chance to save face? _Shit. _

"Sure. Yes. Great."

"Wait, really?"

James clears his throat and shoots me daggers from across the store.

"Yeah, I can be here by six—no, make that 6:15 with a shower and . . . uh, more presentable clothing."

_And I'll bring my Listerine and avoid onions._

"Sounds like a—"

"Date?"

_GAH_! Now we're both bright pink.

* * *

**A/N: SO much blushing! **

**XXX ~BOH**


	12. Chapter 12

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**Chapter 12**

EPOV

A date? Like a _real _date or just an I'm-expected-to-be-here-to-buy-a-chair-from-you-cause-it's-something-we've-just-agreed-upon date?

_My socially inept life is so confusing._

"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

She walks with me to the front of the store. "Bye, Edward. Oh! I almost forgot. Here's my card with my hours should something come up and you want to get a hold of me."

_Oh, Bella, you have no idea what's coming up or how much I'd like to get a hold of you._

"Thanks."

She just smiles and waves as I leave, and for the first time ever, I can't wait until Tuesday.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Hopefully, he'll make it through Tuesday. He's such a nice boy, but what a man! What are your thoughts?**

**PAD**

**P.S. (from Born)- That's the l****ast chapter for tonight. Thank you for all the highly entertaining reviews on this one!**


	13. Chapter 13

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**Chapter 13**

BPOV

_6:10._

I take one last bite of my apple and toss the core in the trash bin out back. If James doesn't stop giving me that you-let-him-get-away glare, I might just have to . . . _ooh,_ I need this job too badly to do what I want to do.

What was I thinking letting Edward out of my grasp?

Not only did I lose the sale, I lost any chance at seeing him again.

_He has your number._

Oh yes, surely he will be calling me here at work to ask me out.

Tired of pacing, I sink into the OSIM.

* * *

**A/N: ****Angst anyone?**

**XXX ~BOH**


	14. Chapter 14

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**Chapter 14**

EPOV

Fucking traffic!

I even left early, not wanting to miss a minute with her.

But none of that matters when I take in the sight of Bella sprawled out and vibrating, looking hot yet angelic.

Seeing her like this has erased all negativity, eased everything—well almost everything.

As I near the store's entrance, I inconspicuously adjust that part of me that's certainly not interested in backing down.

"Judging by the heavenly look you have on your face, I'm sure my mother will be ecstatic over her gift."

"God, Edward, you scared me. I think I may have even fallen asleep."

* * *

**A/N: **

**Sprawled out, vibrating, and looking hot? That just about sums up our banner, but I think Bella needs Edward looking that way for herself. What do you think?**

**Also please check out my fic "Watching You" on my Postapocalypticdepository Fanfiction profile. I posted a new update earlier today.**

**PAD**


	15. Chapter 15

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**Chapter 15**

BPOV

_He came!_

"I'm so sorry I'm late. Traffic was awful."

I flick my wrist to check the time, hoping he doesn't notice my little drool swipe. "No problem. You ready to do this?"

I stand, dragging my eyes with me up his body. The uniform was tight, but his jeans are tighter. And yes, he is definitely ready . . . for something. Tearing my reluctant gaze from his lap, I learn the rest of the view is pretty sweet, too.

Snug grey t-shirt with just a hint of muscle underneath.

A leather jacket hides his arms, but it's not a terrible trade.

* * *

**A/N: Oh, Bella, he is SO ready!**

** The response for this little romp has been overwhelming! Please know we both love your comments and suggestions (*SMIRK- thanks!*) but I must admit, it's getting hard to keep up with review replies when we're posting multiple times a day. We'll do our best, but I don't want to slow down the story! That's okay, right?**

**XXX ~BOH**


	16. Chapter 16

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**Chapter 16**

EPOV

She eyes me like I'm ribbon candy, but right now all I can think about are her folds.

Even wearing a work blouse, Bella's displaying her perfect curves, meaning her grabbable ass and tantalizing tits.

_Control it Cullen!_

I'm being as bad as the she-cats who claw me.

I like this girl and don't want to chase her away.

"Ready for the cockpit?"

_Did she just say "Cock"?_

"Sure. What do I do?"

"Just sit back and let the magic hands do the work."

I imagine Bella's hands caressing my thighs, pulling my ankles, riding up and down me.

"Ungh!"

* * *

**A/N: **

**Damn, now I want a box of ribbon candy and a cock and magic hands, too! What are your thoughts?**

**PAD**


	17. Chapter 17

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**Chapter 17**

BPOV

Did he just moan? Shit, was that me?

Edward's shoulders undulate toward me and away, near then far, an offer, a tease. But the biggest tease of all is the barely-visible tongue resting just inside his parted lips, begging to be tasted.

I lean in . . .

_Stay professional._

His eyes reflect off the fluorescents, glinting like a thousand tiny specks of jade-colored sea glass washed up on the beach at noon.

Feeling like an intruder, I ask, "Feel good?"

Any idiot can see he's near bliss.

"Yeah," he croaks.

We both smile while he clears his throat.

"Yes, it feels amazing."

* * *

**A/N: What's all the moaning, kids? Oh dear god, I think it was ME! Undulating Edward? Be still my lady parts.**

**Thanks for understanding about the replies, and yes, we are reading and chuckling over all of your outrageous remarks!  
*You know who you are!***

**XXX ~BOH**


	18. Chapter 18

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**Chapter 18**

EPOV

"Oh, if you think that's amazing, wait until you experience this . . ."

_Oh God!_

Leaning over my shoulder and touching my side, she turns on the bluetooth device.

_Her hand feels nice, brushing across my ribs, almost tickling me._

And now her hair is bristling all over my chest and rubbing the side of my face, making something else of mine bristle in the process while she adjusts the button.

_Holy hell, she smells good._

"There. Now your playlist is linked on your iPhone."

As the selection begins, I'm equal parts mortified and proud to hear the AC/DC signature song.

_She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean_  
_She was the best damn woman that I ever seen_  
_She had the sightless eyes telling me no lies . . ._

* * *

**A/N: **

**Damn! It looks like they'll be shaking all night long if they keep up with song.**

**What are your thoughts?**

**PAD**

**P.S. (Born here) Props to my writing partner on the song selection!**


	19. Chapter 19

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**Chapter 19**

BPOV

"Ohmygod, sorry!" he yells over the loud music, thrashing around for the volume control.

Before he breaks something, I plunge my hand inside the chair, inching my way along the coiled cord. His eyes pop wide open as my fingers reach the remote, which happens to be securely lodged between his very fine ass and the soft leather seat.

Edward doesn't move a muscle—doesn't breathe at all, in fact—until he sees that I've got the remote, and I'm not lowering the volume.

_Shall we play, Edward?_

Without skipping a beat, I sing along,_ "Knocking me out with those American thighs."_

* * *

**A/N: ****Hmm, I wonder if Edward can sing!**

**XXX ~BOH**


	20. Chapter 20

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**Chapter 20**

EPOV

I could not be more embarrassed right now, and I'm sure my face is giving way to every shade of it.

But a quitter I am not, so if she wants to tease, I can play along.

_Let's see where this goes._

So with my best church choir boy voice I begin belting out the words.

"Taking more than her share,  
Had me fighting for air,  
She told me to come but I was already there,  
Cause the walls start shaking,  
The earth was quaking,  
My mind was shaking,  
And we making it,  
And **you** shook me all night long."

* * *

**A/N: **

**Could you imagine Edward singing that song to you? It looks like these two can really play off each other, but I think they need to get down to just plain _playing_. What do you think?**

**PAD**


	21. Chapter 21

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**Chapter 21**

BPOV

_Well, whaddya know? This boy's got game. And a hella-sexy voice._

I didn't think he'd mind if I joined him for the last line of the chorus.

"Yeah, you shook me all night long."

"Perhaps you two would like to continue this duet on your own time?"

_James. Killer of joy. _

"I was just demonstrating the Bluetooth feature for my customer," I shouted.

James grabbed the remote and spun the volume dial to a respectable mall decibel.

"Sir, did you have any other questions about the OSIM we can help you with tonight before we close?"

_We? What the hell?_

* * *

**A/N: So ****Nico, do you still like James? LOL**

**XXX ~BOH**


	22. Chapter 22

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**Chapter 22**

EPOV

Just as Bella's boss, manager, co-worker, or whatever-the-fuck-he-is says that to me, people start coming into the store.

"Hey dude, that was awesome," says some meaty-pawed biker guy who slaps me on the back.

Another lady comes in and says, "Wow, you two make a great pair. You should sing professionally. And that chair has great sound and looks so comfortable. My husband would love one. Are there any in stock? Can I take one home?"

"Yeah, can I get one, too? That thing would be awesome in my rec room," says Mr. Meaty-pawed.

"Bella, _please_ save one for me."

* * *

**A/N: **

**Poor Edward, he justs brings everyone to him from out of the woodwork, or out of their cars, or from inside the mall. I sure hope he gets his mama's chair. What are your thoughts?**

**PAD**


	23. Chapter 23

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**Chapter 23**

BPOV

"No worries, people," James assures the crowd, "we've got enough for everyone." He's all smiles, and I swear I can see dollar signs in his eyes. No way he's closing up until all these sales are written.

James and I cut a deal to split things down the middle. Honestly, there's no way I could handle all these customers at once.

Edward is my priority, and I make sure he knows it.

"I've talked James into extending our employee discount, since you basically sold the chairs for us."

"Take the others first. I'll wait and walk you to your car."

* * *

**A/N: SMOOTH MOVE, EDWARD!**

******Hope you're enjoying these nibbles of Christmas candy. **I'm officially in a state of Review Reply Fail, but this story waits for no replier. On with the show!  


**If you happen to be looking for a more serious Mechanicward, I've just posted the last chapter of my story, SOILED. Epilogue to follow...**

**XXX ~BOH**


	24. Chapter 24

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**Chapter 24**

EPOV

While browsing, I'm stealing glances.

She really is beautiful, and seeing her in her element seriously does things to me.

I understand that selling is not for everyone, but Bella just shines at it, maybe even sparkles.

I could never tire of seeing her mesmerizing smile or hearing her enthusiastic explanations, and right now even though I'm dog-tired from working an early shift, I'll wait.

I'll wait, because she's worth it,

I'll wait because maybe she thinks I'm worth it.

And I'll wait as she finally waits on me because maybe I'll get to kiss her goodnight.

"Ready for me?"

* * *

**A/N: **

**I don't know about you, but I'm waiting around to see what happens.**

**Should Edward kiss her goodnight?**

**Do you think it's too soon?**

**Please leave us your thoughts.**

**PAD**

_P.S. (Born)- I think it's too soon. ;)_


	25. Chapter 25

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**Chapter 25**

BPOV

Am I ready for Edward?

Quite the question.

I have to avert my eyes as he unfolds and fondles every Nap robe on display, picturing himself in each color. Imagining Edward wrapped in any of the "skin-kissing" colors, presumably with nothing underneath, is not getting us out of here any time soon.

Can he be for real? He's buying a $4300 chair for his mother, for cripe's sake. He can't be all bad. So, his body is built for sin, and his voice could make a virgin reconsider. That doesn't make him a bad guy.

Right?

"Yes, Edward. Your turn."

* * *

**A/N: Those NAP robes are SWEET! Edward's turn. Squeeeeee!**

**After my movie date tonight, I am all over your reviews, people! MWAH!**

**XXX ~BOH**


	26. Chapter 26

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**Chapter 26**

EPOV

"I've never done this before; go easy on me."

"You've got to slide it in, like this."

She takes my hand and gently gives it a downward stroke as I clutch my virginal piece.

"Ahh, so that's how this works . . . I've never used one of these on myself before . . .

We have an old-fashioned one from the seventies at work . . . You can get tennis elbow from the strokes it takes to use it . . .

Seriously, this is my first credit card purchase . . . You're my cherry-popping swipe."

I wish I could capture the blush she's giving me for all eternity, it's that cute.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Aw, how did he do for his first time? Do you remember yours? Although Edward has swiped credit cards for his customers using an "oldfangled" manual credit card machine, he's never used the one he's kept in his wallet, nor has he swiped one using electronic swiping or laser devices. Gotta love a guy who pays with cash. What are your thoughts?**

**Also I just posted another set of chapters for "Unhinged" under my profile: Postapocalypticdepository on Fanfiction and Fictionpad.**

**PAD**


	27. Chapter 27

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**Chapter 27**

BPOV

"Where's your car?" he asks, helping me on with my coat.

"Outer Slobovia-the employee lot."

"That doesn't sound safe for a single girl . . . I mean, I didn't see a ring . . . ugh."

"Edward," I giggle, "I'm single."

"Oh, good!"

My heart melts a little more. Poor Edward starts muttering to himself and studying window displays as we walk through the empty mall.

I give him a little elbow-to-elbow nudge. "How about you?"

His cheeks are a cute shade of pink when he turns back. "Oh, I'm over by Nordstrom."

Fighting the smile, I nudge him again. "I meant, are you single?"

* * *

**A/N: SILLY BLUSHY BOY!**

**Well, I have been wending my way through your reviews, smiling all the way. You guys have some pretty great ideas! Thank you for sharing!**

**XXX ~BOH**


	28. Chapter 28

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**Chapter 28**

EPOV

This moment deserves our full attention, so I grasp her elbow, tenderly halting her step, as I angle my head towards hers.

"Yes . . . I am."

I put every ounce of sincerity I possess into my words and my expression, letting her know this isn't about one-night stands or a couple of dates.

I sense there's something amazing about this girl, and although I can't even begin to envision sharing an aisle, a life, or even a bed—well, maybe I have thought about that last one—I really want to try, to see, if we can begin to get there.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Aw, at least Edward's somewhat thinking about thinking about getting there. That has to count for something. Please share your thinking.**

**PAD**


	29. Chapter 29

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**Chapter 29**

**_from Chapter 28:_**

**"Yes . . . I am."**

* * *

BPOV

His answer feels more like a question, and my decision was made the first time Edward blushed.

"Me, too," I reply, realizing at once I've made a complete fool of myself.

Miraculously, Edward's eyes light up as bright as the Christmas tree behind him, and he says the perfect thing back: "Me, too."

"So, now that we've established that," I start, shaking off the last of my embarrassment, "I was wondering . . ."

I step in; our knees knock together.

He swallows. "Yeah?"

Who is this girl reaching for Edward's lips?

What is he doing to me with his shy, wily ways?

* * *

**A/N: Oh, you know the shy boys are the wiliest! JUST FOR THE RECORD, I was about to have them kiss...**

**I've caught up on your reviews, and let me tell you, they are as much fun to read as the story is to write. Thank you for taking this piece of holiday fluff into your hearts!**

**xxx ~BOH**


	30. Chapter 30

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**Chapter 30**

EPOV

_Bella's going to kiss me!_

**Rumble, gurgle, urrrr.**

_What a way to spoil a moment, stomach!_

"Sorry, no food since lunch."

"Well, let's get out of here."

She grabs my hand, whisking me through the last, meandering, die-hard shoppers until we reach the exit.

As I swing open the door, pulling Bella with me, I'm blinded not only by iridescent flakes falling from above but also by headlights moving much too quickly.

Suddenly, my reflexes have me on my back, in a snowbank, under a streetlamp, staring up at the most stunning creature, and I know this is the moment.

* * *

**A/N:**

**From rumbling stomachs to lurching vehicles to two almost kisses in between.**

**With him on his back and her on his front, what is he waiting for?**

**Should Edward kiss Bella?**

**Please share your thoughts.**

**PAD**


	31. Chapter 31

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**Chapter 31**

BPOV

His pupils are dilated, and he has a strange faraway look on his face.

"Edward? Are you okay?"

Without answering, he grabs my head with both hands and tugs me to his lips with surprising force considering I'm pinning his body to the ground.

For all his earlier hesitation, Edward's kiss is not the least bit tentative. There's no time to think—we're operating on pure instinct. Lips and tongues tell the story far better than words. Despite the cold, there's a fire between us.

Sated, he releases me

"I'm sorry to be so forward, but I almost died without kissing you."

* * *

**A/N: The votes seemed to be slightly in favor of the kiss although some of you worried about shrinkage and SNOW BALLS (Thank you Sunflower Fran for that one!) and Austen Devotee was pretty sure he was going to ask her for James's phone number! Strong opinions all over this topic, so thank you all for that.**

**I love writing author notes twice as long as my drabble chapters. Here's more: in researching this chapter, I read all about pupil dilation. Did you know that a bigger pupil is one of the body's responses to arousal, and that women in ancient Egypt used to bring on dilation purposefully as a means of making themselves more attractive? Hey, we're not all about the fluff. Stick around this story long enough, you are going to LEARN stuff! :)**

**XXX ~BOH**

**PS- I'll be posting the epilogue to SOILED today if you're looking for a slightly more involved Mechanicward story.**


	32. Chapter 32

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**Chapter 32**

EPOV

"Aw, Edward."

One kiss isn't enough.

As our mouths meet again, warm waves ripple through me. Her lips are incredible, and her tongue is so soft. She gives me back what I am giving her, and I know we each want more. But lying in a mound of parking-lot snow with lighted darkness is not an ideal make-out place for any further heated gestures. So I reluctantly pull back once again.

Breathing heavily and looking at each other, we know _this_, whatever this is, will continue.

"We should probably get up."

"Probably." Grinning, she stands and tugs my hand.

"Ouch."

* * *

**A/N: **

**Looks like our boy's got a boo boo.**

**What should Bella do for it?**

**I don't know about you, but I would definitely lie in some parking lot snow for Edward.**

**Hell, he could crush me for all I'd care.**

**What are your thoughts?**

**PAD**

**_P.S. (Born): _**A little snippet of behind-the-scenes action on this chapter if you're interested . . . both PAD and I wanted to write their first kiss but since she kiss blocked them earlier, I got there first. :) We added in round two here instead of making it an EPOV of the same first kiss. Fascinating huh? ;) Some have asked if we're writing this like a hot potato, and the answer is no, not really. We have an "oral outline" (shame on you) and a general idea where this is going (as do all of you, I'm sure!). We do take turns each writing independently, but a few times we've gone back and tweaked something (before it's posted) so that the story flows better. Occasionally, I'm heading toward funny and she takes us down Serious Path, and vice versa, but that's part of the fun, as is the occasional cock block and complete shift in direction.

I'm loving this process and my writing partner is an absolute peach- a highly talented peach! One "last" word, in case you haven't noticed, the only betas on this one are the girls reading it! :)


	33. Chapter 33

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**Chapter 33**

BPOV

"Shit, sorry. Where does it hurt?"

"My wrist." He pulls back his hand and twists his wrist experimentally.

Without a thought, I drop to my knees in the snow next to him. "Do you think it's broken?"

"No, it's fine. I'll wrap it when I get home."

"Don't forget to ice it first."

"Okay, Florence Nightingale," he says with a little smirk.

"I'm no nurse, but I can kiss it and make it better."

"Would you?" He doesn't skip a beat before extending his arm.

"It's the least I can do for the Good Samaritan who just saved my life."

* * *

**A/N: Who's got a little nurse fantasy going now? *raise your hands* LOL**

**Just posted my SOILED epilogue and now I'm crying all the tears. Lucky I have this one going now with PAD...**

**XXX ~BOH**

**_P.S. (PAD): _**

This is just a side note conveying that it's been fantastic working with Born on this project. We've clashed keyboard taps quite a few times, as we can see and respond to what the other is writing in real time.

As for your reviews, I am slowly getting to them. I am not used to dealing with this much outpouring, and I joked to Bornonhalloween about what I've affectionately dubbed the "Born Effect," meaning her stories unite and transcend readers from everywhere. I am humbled by how wonderful, thoughtful, respectful, and witty each of you are and have been relishing your words and ideas. Thanks to each of you for allowing me to be a part of this.

PAD xo

**_P.P.S. (BORN):_** Aww, and yes, we are now just going to continue writing the longest author notes anywhere. :)


	34. Chapter 34

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**Chapter 34**

EPOV

"The snow is really starting to come down out here; the plows probably aren't even out on the secondary roads yet. Would it be okay if I followed you to make sure you get home?"

_Smooth move, Cullen, getting to know where she lives._

"Sure, Edward, in fact that's probably a great idea, considering I've had a lot of car trouble lately."

"Really, what's been happening with it? Do you you have a flashlight? If not, you can bring me over to my truck, and I'll get my tools."

"I think I have one. Let me start the car first."

* * *

**A/N:**

**Definitely a smooth move, but she has to get her car started first.**

**Should he still follow her home if he does?**

**Leave us your thoughts.**

**PAD**


	35. Chapter 35

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**Chapter 35**

BPOV

"Wow, you drive a '91 Prelude?"

Edward gives the hood of the car a loving caress. Oh, to have that hand on my chassis!

"When it starts."

"I can't believe they stopped making these babies," he marvels, walking around to admire the rear. "VTEC four-cylinder . . ."

_I am officially jealous of my car._

"Do you two want to be alone?"

"What? No!" His confusion makes me giggle. The boy clearly has no clue what he's doing to me. "Here, let me get your door."

He scoots around so quickly on the ice, we both nearly go down again-not that I'd mind.

* * *

**A/N: Oh, the caress he gives that hood. *drools***

**Is it a proxy for what he wants to do to her chassis?**

**Will her engine start?**

**Has yours?**

**XXX ~BOH**

_**P.S. (Born)- See what I did there? I copied PAD's author note style! *nods***_


	36. Chapter 36

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**Chapter 36**

_**PRE.S. (Born)- #%$* & #$~**_

_**I TOTALLY MESSED UP POSTING CHAPTER 36 earlier. Apologies to my trusting partner! Here's the right version:**_

* * *

EPOV

I eye her through the windshield, noticing her cuteness when she tucks her bottom lip between her teeth, willing her car not to blow up when she starts the engine.

_Girls._

"Bella, I need to get under your hood."

_Mmm, I like how that sounds._

Upon turning the key, the Prelude sputters, knocks, and shakes—maybe even more than the chair.

"You have a few problems, better bring me to my truck."

Thirty minutes later—with some temporary fixes and her promise to bring the car to me for proper repairs tomorrow—finds us on our way to her house.

_For safety's sake._

* * *

**A/N:**

**Just for safety's sake?**

**Sure, Edward.**

**How do you think Bella should reward him?**

**He's gotta be pretty hungry by now.**

**Please leave us your thoughts.**

**PAD**


	37. Chapter 37

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**Chapter 37**

BPOV

_Stop shaking!_

It's not the car this time—it's my body. My hands, my knees . . . my every last nerve.

I _like_ this boy. He's not just ridiculously handsome and adorably awkward and sweet; he's reliable and thoughtful and kind. I cannot stop thinking about the way his eyes glimmered under the streetlamp and how those kisses made my belly flutter.

My eyes are drawn to the rear-view mirror again, even though a blurry head is all I can make out above the two bright headlights.

Two more blocks and I'll no longer need an escort, but I most definitely need Edward.

* * *

**A/N: They're almost there!**

**Thank you for all the love and humor in your reviews. We appreciate every droplet.**

**xxx ~BOH**


	38. Chapter 38

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**Chapter 38**

EPOV

I put distance between us, given the snowy conditions.

_Huh._

I pull in Bella's driveway, realizing she's only ten minutes from my place, which is actually an apartment above the gambrel-roofed garage I built on Mom's property.

Dad died before I was born, and my step dad divorced mom six years ago. I've been looking out for Mom ever since. She really wanted me to move back in, but she needs her space, as do I, though that doesn't stop me from taking advantage of her 80 inch flat screen on her bingo nights.

"Got time? May I feed you?"

* * *

**A/N: **

**Well, it looks like B&E made it safely to Bella's place, and Edward's being offered dinner.**

**I wonder how bad the storm will be when he goes to leave?**

**Should Bella invite him to stay?**

**Do you think Edward ought to show Bella that flat screen on his Mom's bingo night?**

**Maybe the chair might even be delivered by then.**

**Leave us your thoughts.**

**PAD**


	39. Chapter 39

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**Chapter 39**

BPOV

"Time? Sure, I don't have to be at work until eight tomorrow morning."

Even in the dim porch light, I can see his cheeks turn bright pink as he realizes his accidental insinuation. Bring on the endearing backpedaling.

"Not that I'm assuming I'd be staying overnight or anything. Not that I'd turn you down if you asked. Ohmygod . . . somebody stop me, please?"

I close my mouth over his lips, mostly so he'll stop digging himself deeper into his little hole-of-mortification. As I pull back, he shrugs.

"I'm such a mess around you. I have no idea what's wrong with me."

* * *

**A/N: REALLY? NO IDEA? *side-eyes Edward***

**One more EPOV today?**

**xxx ~BOH**


	40. Chapter 40

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**Chapter 40**

EPOV

_I know what's wrong with me._

A certain brunette nearly fell into my lap, And_ I'm_ the one who's head over heels.

I need an industrial oil filter for the stuff that's spewing out of my mouth.

I practically invited myself to sleep with her.

She must think I'm the world's biggest player right now, and that isn't how I roll.

"Edward, stop beating yourself up and come on in . . ."

_Beating myself before coming in? She can't say things like that! _

"Blanket and pillow are on the couch; it's up to_ you_ whether they find their way to my bed."

* * *

**A/N: **

**Woo hoo! It looks like our girl's got game!**

**What is our boy to do?**

**What _should_ he do?**

**Please leave your thoughts.**

**PAD**


	41. Chapter 41

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**Chapter 41**

BPOV

"Up to me? Is this a trick question?"

How can Edward not know all his blurty goodness makes him that much more attractive to me? Who wants some smooth-talking slicker who uses the same polished lines on every girl he meets?

"Tell you what. Why don't I fix us a couple of grilled cheeses and see where things go?"

Edward grins; some of the anxiety has lost its grip. "I love grilled cheese. Do you have an apple?"

"I think so. Why?"

His smile widens. "I'm gonna make you the best grilled cheese sandwich you've ever had."

"You cook _too_?"

* * *

**A/N: Can you blame Bella for getting all starry-eyed? The guy is putting fruit on a sandwich! That is almost unfair!**

**And how cute is he, going that extra mile for her? Awww.**

**I've noticed a trend: every time I go to sleep, I get behind in review replies. Hmmm. I got this! :) Seriously, thank you for all the great comments- large and small. We really love them all.**

**XXX ~BOH**


	42. Chapter 42

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**Chapter 42**

EPOV

This a test!

_Chill._

"I'm not a nasty-ass Neanderthal. I clean, shop, _and_ do laundry, also."

"Really?"

Pondering my honesty, Bella takes my jacket.

I start slicing an apple while warming a skillet, sizzling butter.

Returned, she reveals a snug shirt with snaps popped open at both ends.

_Tight package, "C"-cups, bare skin._

"Shit! I cut myself!"

"Crap, no Band-Aids! Give me your hand."

Dull pain from my wrist and sharp pain from the cut don't matter because Bella's _sucking_ my thumb with her lips and tongue.

_No half mast for Little Ed; he's already waving at the top._

* * *

**A/N: **

**Has Bella no clue what she is doing to him? **

**Or is this part of a master plan?**

**If you saw Little Ed, would you wave back?**

**Please leave us your thoughts.**

**PAD**

_**P.S. (Born): ". . . nasty-ass Neanderthal," she wrote. I just loved that.**_


	43. Chapter 43

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**Chapter 43**

BPOV 

"Here, hold this above your heart," I say, raising his thumb while I compress the puncture. "So, Mr. Not-Nasty-Ass-Neanderthal, are you this dangerous in the laundry room, too?"

We're standing so close, I can feel his chest rumble with laughter. "Occasionally, a dark shirt gets in with the whites, and all hell breaks loose," he jokes.

"Hmm, I better keep my eye on you."

_His _eyes are on _me_—all over me. "I think you're the dangerous one, Bella." Puffs of his quickening breath ruffle my hair.

How does the naked vulnerability he wears on his sleeve make him completely irresistible?

* * *

**A/N: Oh I don't know! How does that work again? *wink wink***

**I have good news and bad news. Bad news is I just got back home and haven't had a chance yet to see what all of you crazy people have stirred up on the ones we posted earlier today. The good news is *SPOILER ALERT* PAD and I are writing in the late 50's chapters now, and things are getting kinda jiggy.**

**xxx ~BOH**


	44. Chapter 44

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**Chapter 44**

EPOV 

She has my thumb.

I can't help myself with the burner now safely off.

Keeping my doubly-injured hand still locked in Bella's above my heart, I begin humming "Leather and Lace", purposefully staying clear of the words.

_We're not there yet._

I need to know if she feels what I do.

Judging by her expression, I think we have a chance.

So I take mine and pull her close with my good hand, holding her, dancing with her.

_She feels me._

I nuzzle my nose into her hair, absorbing how insanely good she smells and begin kissing up her neck.

* * *

**A/N: **

**"Leather and Lace" is a classic love song by Stevie Nicks and Don Henley. If you care to check out the song or the lyrics, the fourth verse sung by Henley inspired this.**

**Hand-holding, humming, dancing, kissing, and nuzzling plus Edward just got there, and he cooks. If they get any more distractions, they're going to be having breakfast instead of dinner.**

**Please share your thoughts.**

**PAD**

_**P.S. (Born- who else?): Was that a hint to me about "distractions"?**_


	45. Chapter 45

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**Chapter 45**

BPOV 

Me? Dangerous?

He's melting me, one slow spin at a time. Edward is all man, yet gentle and tender.

I can't quite reconcile his smooth humming and soft, sweet kisses with the hard knot of his need between my legs. I'm pretty sure if he started singing Don Henley's part right now, my clothes would rip themselves off.

His lips move along my jaw, tickling, teasing, tempting. A very unladylike whimper escapes me, and Edward swallows my desperation with a long, deep kiss.

Shy Edward has left the building—again. He devours me, pressing his tongue against mine, unambiguous and uninhibited.

* * *

**A/N: So which of them is more dangerous? I think that hard knot of need sounds pretty dangerous!**

**Sorry for the late posting. I needed a haircut!**

**xxx ~BOH**


	46. Chapter 46

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**Chapter 46**

EPOV

I kiss Bella as if this is my only chance, like I won't get another, pouring everything I have.

My feelings are foreign, and aside from her beauty, I'm marveled by her intellect, tenacity, and spontaneity.

No girl's made me this happy.

_How can that be?_

I met her yesterday, yet all day, today, I couldn't wait to see her tonight. And if I'm right, I won't want to leave her tomorrow.

_What is she doing to me?_

Unwillingly, I pull away softly smiling, gazing into her umbering depths, wanting her to understand the gravity of this, of us.

"Dinner?"

* * *

**A/N:**

**Wow! Those are some heavy thoughts, Edward.**

**What do you think Bella is feeling right now?**

**After dinner, _if they ever get to eat, _do you think Edward should continue to be the gentleman and sleep on the couch, or should he find his way into Bella's bedroom?**

**Please, leave us your thoughts.**

**PAD**


	47. Chapter 47

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**Chapter 47**

BPOV

Dizzy and dazzled by his kisses, I repeat, "Dinner?"

"Yeah," he chuffs. "You're sapping my energy here. My body seems to be . . . um, asserting its needs?"

My hips flex without my permission, and now we're both blushing. "How can I help?" _That was innocent, right?_

The intense gaze he shoots back heats my flesh. We're locked together for several long beats before he steps back and answers, "You can turn on the cooktop and stop distracting me. I can't afford to lose a finger."

"Got it. Cooktop on. You _off_."

His guffaw follows me across the room. "Good luck with that, Bella."

* * *

**A/N: Hmm, where's that OFF switch?**

**Behind again on reviews...but I have a good reason this time. :) I'll tell you later.**

**xxx ~BOH**


	48. Chapter 48

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**Chapter 48**

EPOV

Somehow we manage to get through cooking, being in the same space without anymore catastrophes.

I kept having to remind myself I belong here, in the troposphere, and not up on cloud nine, when my mind started drifting to thoughts of Bella grinding against me.

She may have caught me trying to loosen my _nuts and bolt_ a few times and just dismissed it with quiet giggles.

"Edward, would you like a beer?"

"Sure. Ready to enjoy this awesomeness?"

Eyeing me dreamily, she replies, "I already am."

_Cheesy_, just like the sandwiches, but I feel the same way about her.

* * *

**A/N:**

**I don't know about you, but Edward adjusting his nuts and bolt, ungh!**

**Maybe Bella needs to use her wrench on him.**

**What are your thoughts?**

**PAD**

_**P.S. (Born) - Wrench? OUCH! But I am all about the CHEESY, baby! :)**_


	49. Chapter 49

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**Chapter 49**

BPOV

"Where did you learn how to make this? It's . . . like eating dessert and dinner all at once!"

"Glad you like it," he grins. "Mom's a great cook, and she taught me my way around the kitchen. Said she wanted to raise a man who could take care of himself and his woman."

"His woman?" My inner cave girl might have just wet her loin cloth a little bit. "I think your Neanderthal might be showing!"

"That's funny," he says, "I have always thought of myself as more of a Renaissance Man." He tips back the long neck of his bottle.

* * *

**A/N: You can blame the wet loin cloth on my new Spartacus addiction! Seriously, Neanderthal Man? Kind of hot. Maybe he should've stuck with the nasty-ass guy!**

**I posted the recipe for the apple-cheese grill on fb if you want it.**

**Sorry for being ho-ho-horribly behind on review replies. Love you guys!**

**XXX ~BOH**


	50. Chapter 50

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**Chapter 50**

EPOV

"How so?"

"Well, my librarian mother was pregnant with me when my surgeon father died, responding to an emergency. When I was three, she met my contractor stepdad, Charles Evenson. He left her eight years ago; she's been divorced for six . . .

Throughout my life, I've learned a great deal: on my own, from both my mom and stepdad, the shop guys, and even my dad's medical books. Guess I know a little about a lot . . .

I built a detached garage with my own apartment upstairs, and in my spare time I restore classic automobiles . . .

Oh! I'm twenty-four . . .

How about you?"

* * *

**A/N:**

**Well, Edward's given up a few more details.**

**What do you think of our boy now?**

**What do you think Bella is thinking?**

**Please share your thoughts.**

**PAD**


	51. Chapter 51

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**Chapter 51**

BPOV

"Bella, why are you looking at me like that? Did I leave a seed in your sandwich?"

_Staring with gaping mouth: not attractive,_ I remind myself, pulling my jaw closed. "No, no seeds."

Poor guy's just spilled his life on the table and I'm sitting here practically mute—stunned, really.

"It's just . . . you're kind of amazing."

Relieved, he relaxes into his chair and takes my hand. "I'm just me. And you're deflecting."

I tip back my beer and finish it off before responding, "No, just digesting."

"Okay, but I'd like to know you, too."

Feeling playful, I jiggle his hand.

_"Ouch!"_

* * *

**A/N: OH YEAH! He sprained his wrist. Remember, Nurse Ratched? SHEESH!**

**My writing partner and I would like to wish you all a very happy, merry, joyful, peaceful, and love-filled Christmas and remind you to traverse the roads and the family gatherings safely. (I paraphrased her message a wee bit, but what else is new, eh, PAD?)**

**Peace.**

**XXX ~BOH**


	52. Chapter 52

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**Chapter 52**

EPOV

"Dammit! Sorry, Edward, I'm on it."

_What'd she say?_

Springing up from the kitchen table we're sitting at, she jostles our bottles.

I watch mine, helplessly, tumble in slow motion onto the laminate.

The foamy content finally finds its way into my lap.

_What a way to kill an erection!_

"Fuck!"

"Shit!"

She grabs a towel and starts rubbing it all over my crotch, but Little Ed—the trooper he is—shakes himself off from getting doused and decides to reignite after Bella furiously flicks his Bic.

Granting me some reprieve, she's back with an ace bandage, hair dryer, and over-sized robe.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Bathed and rubbed.**

**Is that like bored and stroked? _(Do you get the car reference?)_**

**I bet right now Little Ed could care less about getting a beer bath.**

**Though, he may have to worry about the hair dryer. (_Yikes!_)**

**Do you think Bella's going to make Edward strip?**

**(Loving all of your reviews!)**

**PAD**


	53. Chapter 53

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**Chapter 53**

BPOV

Edward jumps to his feet and crosses his hands over the giant wet spot. "What are you planning to do with _that_ thing?"

"Easy there, Mr. Renaissance. I just thought I'd give you the option of a blow dry in case you didn't feel comfortable undressing." I display the dryer in one hand and the robe in the other and

wait while he chooses his fate.

He takes the robe with his unsprained, uncut hand. "Where's your laundry?"

"That closet."

"Got anything you need washed?"

I bust out laughing. "Yes, my underwear."

Poor guy could not look any more mortified.

* * *

**A/N: Merry freaking Christmas, you darn fanfic site, keeping us offline for 36 hours, time I was hoping to spend replying to reviews and posting new chapters for you. While the window of opportunity is open, PAD and I wanted to make sure to get you a couple new chapters. Hope you'll enjoy them and know we will catch up when we can on the replies.**

**Also, I posted a KEA outtake on my blog. Remember the I Dream of Jeannie fantasy? Yeah, that happens. MWAH!**

**xxx ~BOH**


	54. Chapter 54

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**Chapter 54**

EPOV 

Bella's evil!

_Then why the fuck are you so turned on by her?_

I envision my darks mixing with her whites . . . agitating . . . spinning . . . tumbling.

_It sounds like the evening you've just spent._

The snugness and smugness of my groin win out.

Willing away inhibition, I pull off my tee and undershirt then put on the new_ large/extra-large Nap _robe, saving questions for later.

Turning toward her appliances, I drop trou, placing my jeans and boxer-briefs in the washer.

I playfully challenge while pivoting around, thinking she'll renege, "Your turn."

Hands outstretched, she hands me her bra and panties.

_Backfire!_

* * *

**A/N**:

**Backfire, indeed. Bella's no amateur when it comes to holding her own; however, I'm sure Edward would be happier if she were holding something of his right now.**

**Edward in a Nap robe? Yum! **

**How long do you think Bella will be able to keep her hands off him?**

**Or how long will he be able to keep his hands off of her?**

**What do you think they will end up doing, during the washing and drying cycles?**

**Please share your thoughts.**

PAD


	55. Chapter 55

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**Chapter 55**

BPOV

_Consider your bluff called, wise guy!_

"Delicate cycle, please."

Which will I get next-shy, blushing boy scout or wrecking-ball kisser? Either way, I win.

As we stand here in our face-off, the edges of Edward's lips slowly curl into a smile. There's a little twinkle in his eye that wasn't there before I tossed my underwear into his arms.

"You got it," he says. Humming _Leather and Lace _again, he plucks the bra from the top of the pile and holds it up over the open barrel of the washer.

_"Give to me your leather; take from me my lace." _

* * *

**A/N**: **Those clothes are gonna be a-TUMBLIN'! Leather, lace...blushing, wrecking. Hmmm, you just don't know what to expect, now do you? ****Now you know how I feel when my partner surprises me! SO MUCH FUN.**

**Listen now, you guys know I always answer reviews whenever possible. Please know how hard I'm trying to get to these, but after being cut off for two days from fanfic logins and big family doin's, it's all I can do to keep posting. I hope you understand! MWAH!**

**XXX ~BOH**


	56. Chapter 56

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**Chapter 56**

EPOV

___Touché_, sweetheart!

I add the detergent, close down the lid, set the dials, and push . . . the button.

_"Yes! Please do," I read in her eyes. _

Turning back toward Bella again, I note she already has an ice pack, ace bandage, and antibiotic ointment placed next to her on the couch.

Who am I to deny Florence?

_Florence? I want Bella!_

I tighten my robe some just to keep _him_ confined while sitting down next to her.

I wince when she takes a good look at my wrist.

She applies the icepack and ace bandage, then leans in to kiss me.

* * *

**A/N**:

**Do you think Edward should push Bella's button?**

**Should he let Little Ed out to play?**

**Do you think they'll at least make it to the spin cycle?**

**Please leave your thoughts.**

**PAD**


	57. Chapter 57

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**Chapter 57**

BPOV

He tastes like apple pie with melted cheddar on top—the way Gran used to make it. _Would he be weirded out if I told him he's delicious? _

_Probably_.

I keep that thought to myself as our lips part, but there's another nagging at me, one I feel the need to share. "I think I'm bad luck for you."

"Why would you say that?"

"I almost got you killed, crushed your wrist, made you cut your finger and spill—"

"Whoa, hold your reindeer, Santella. The way I see it, I'm kissing a beautiful girl and one of us is already undressed."

* * *

**A/N**: **That's how they serve apple pie in New England (sometimes). I think Edward is really showing himself to be an optimist here. I have a feeling things are looking UP. ****  
**

**Bonus set posting tonight since we have some making up to do from yesterday. MWAH!**

**XXX ~BOH**


	58. Chapter 58

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**Chapter 58**

EPOV

_See you in hell._

I need a parts washer for my filthy thoughts.

I cup her face with my good right hand, pulling her in, meeting halfway.

_Doing a lot of that lately, time to step up._

Gauging her reaction, determining my direction, I kiss the entrance to the tunnel of her tits.

"Mmm."

_Oh, yeah._

Nuzzling her plump creamy mounds, I just happen to pop open an extra snap or two—with my teeth.

My iced wrist grazes Bella's waist sending shivers and giggles throughout her, making her uncupped nipples rise to the occasion.

_All part of the plan._

***_ringing* _**

* * *

**A/N**:

**Is it getting warm in here, or is it just the oven I have on?**

**I think Edward should just drive right through those mountains; what do you think?**

**What do you think Edward's plan is?**

**Do you think anything might foil them?**

**Please leave us your thoughts.**

**Loving your words!**

**PAD**


	59. Chapter 59

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**Chapter 59**

BPOV

Sweet. _Bold_.

Hot. _Cold_.

_Was that a phone?_

He climbs atop my shivery goose flesh, planting one knee on either side of my hips and forcing my back to the cushions. I'm thoroughly pinned while teeth and tongue take turns at my nipples.

This time, when he touches me with the ice, I know it's no accident—and he knows I can't move away. He looks up, eyes wild with desire. "Is this okay?"

"God, yes," I hiss, lifting my hips, seeking friction.

With a mighty maneuver that surprises us both, Edward presses my wrists to the couch over my head.

* * *

**A/N: Give the boy a little ice and he thinks he's Domward! Let's see what PAD has to say about his mighty maneuver! Let's see what YOU guys have to say!**

**Speaking of reader comments, this one by Meredith Cullen from chapter 58 MUST be shared:"Tunnel of her tits. PMSL. Who the heck is calling? There's no reception in the tunnel!" **

**Madness, I tell ya. Keep it coming, please. ****MWAH!**

**XXX ~BOH**


	60. Chapter 60

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**Chapter 60**

EPOV

The sound from my phone placed on Bella's dryer leaves me momentarily tense.

_It's Mom, just doing her "mom thing", trying to cockblock me! _

It's Mom, making sure I'm okay.

For the first time ever, I fight the temptation and just ignore the ringing, praying nothing is wrong.

_He _won the argument.

_Damn straight! _

Where was I?

_About to descend._

Oh, yeah.

Still maintaining hold on her wrists, I begin kissing my way down . . . over her eyelid . . . on her cheek . . . behind her ear . . . under her jaw . . . down her neck . . . above her breasts . . . my teeth popping open the last few snaps.

* * *

**A/N**:

**Oh! Edward popping snaps. I have no words.**

**But I'd love some of yours.**

**It looks like Little Ed's a great arbitrator.**

**Do you think he always gives Edward good advice?**

**Please share your thoughts.**

**We are just loving all of your enthusiastic ideas.**

**PAD**


	61. Chapter 61

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**Chapter 61**

BPOV

Nibble. Lick. _More_.

Lust-filled eyes, a mischievous smirk.

Ice passes across one nipple. I hiss and jerk.

He shakes his head and chills the other side as if he has no choice in the matter.

Edward leans in and blows across the dampened flesh, drawing tiny bumps.

A needy whimper escapes me; he responds with a low groan.

I fidget and shift, exquisitely captured; his erection presses against my belly.

I need; he needs.

Edward dips lower, hovering over his prisoner. He covers my lips with a frenzied kiss and my cold skin with the silky fur of the robe.

* * *

**A/N**: **I've managed to turn the boy into Tarzan with a modern-day furry covering. I might have a Tarzan plot bunny among my files. ****  
**

**Whatch gonna do with them now, PAD?**

**Thank you, Maplestyle for this lovely review of chapter 60: "Well, now I feel kind of bad it's his mom...what if something is wrong? I take it back ANSWER IT..then fuck Bella!" S****ee? Our readers have their priorities straight! Mother first, fucking a close second. Way to go, Mapey!**

**XXX ~BOH**


	62. Chapter 62

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**Chapter 62**

EPOV

Realizing this is too soon—but accepting it's something borne between two people having incontestable chemistry—I begin worshipping her.

She's . . . perfect.

I could knead her breasts for hours . . . pinching . . . licking . . . sucking.

Freeing her hands, I know this is right as she rakes her fingers through my hair . . . tugging . . . pulling . . . scratching . . . _encouraging_.

Working my way down further, I tickle her ribs while rubbing my stubble across her taut tummy and discover I'm an archer as my tongue dips into the well of her belly button, causing her back to bow.

I have a decision to make at the crossroads of her waistband.

* * *

**A/N**:

**Oh, Edward what will you do?**

**Raise your hands, how many of you want Edward traveling south?**

**Should he use his thumb to get there?**

**Please share your thoughts. **

**PAD**

**_P.S. (Born): I just love what she did there with the archer and bow! _**


	63. Chapter 63

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**Chapter 63**

BPOV

"Edward."

My voice draws his head up, and I cup his cheek. His eyes hold a thousand questions, most of them beginning with,_ "May I?"_

"I told you an hour ago, the choice is yours. I want you."

His face falls to my belly, where he drops a line of soft kisses before looking up again with that tortured expression in his eyes. "I want you, too, Bella. So much."

"But?" What is it that's holding him back exactly? I need to know.

"Things are moving pretty quickly here. I know I seem like a player, but—"

_Oh dear Lord._

* * *

**A/N:**** A PLAYER? Um...NO! But isn't he adorbs for worrying that? Gosh darnit, I love this one.**

**What is the dealio, fanfic? Could you please heal thyself?**

**XXX ~BOH**


	64. Chapter 64

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**Chapter 64**

EPOV

Bella halts my speech.

"Edward, you're no player. I can thank my last asshole boyfriend for that education."

Embarrassed, I decide to disclose this, "But I know how to . . . _pleasure_ women."

Candycane red must be coloring my face as I feel my embarrassment. "I may have taken some of them home."

"Go on."

"When Mom got divorced, she withdrew.

I signed us up for ballroom dancing so she'd reconnect with life.

I drove mom and her two friends there each week.

Dropping Mom off first, I'd then take her friends home.

_They _taught me.

And subsequently, _other_ things were connecting."

* * *

**A/N:**

**I get the sense Mom doesn't know about Edward's encounters.**

**Thank goodness he was legal.**

**What's Edward thinking right now?**

**What on earth is Bella thinking right now?**

**What are you thinking right now?**

**I think Born had to reset her jaw when it hit the floor.**

**Please share your thoughts.**

**PAD**

_P.S. (Born): I did._


	65. Chapter 65

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**Chapter 65**

BPOV

_Put your eyeballs back in your face, Bella._

"Um . . . did you . . . those old ladies and you had a threesome? Did your _mother _know?"

"NO! _God no,_ Mom never found out. . . but yes to the threesomes. . . and they weren't that old."

He's watching me so carefully, measuring every twitch of my mouth and eyebrows, trusting that his honesty won't freak me out. He draws one tense breath after another, waiting.

"I'm sorry, Edward, but after hearing that, I have to worry."

His voice breaks. "About?"

"How could I ever be enough? I'm just one girl . . . with not all that much experience."

* * *

**A/N:**** Those old ladies were probably 50 or something! *wink***

**XXX ~BOH**


	66. Chapter 66

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**Chapter 66**

EPOV

"How can you say that, Bella, you're _everything_ I've never had . . .

My relationship with them didn't involve . . ._ feelings_ . . .

It started subtly . . .

I was jaded by their advances and pretty horny at the time as any eighteen-year-old would be . . .

They were nice, but I knew I was being used . . .

With my stepfather gone and the shop guys egging me on, I needed guidance. I couldn't exactly talk to Mom . . .

I'm the one that should be freaking out here. After my little reveal, I'm surprised you haven't kicked me out. If anything, I'm wondering how _I _could ever be enough for you."

* * *

**A/N:**

**What are you all thinking?**

**Has Edward redeemed himself yet?**

**So it looks like our boy has had some cougar time.**

**Have you ever had a "Young 'un"?**

**Please review us your thoughts.**

**PAD**


	67. Chapter 67

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**Chapter 67**

BPOV

This vulnerable moment is probably not the best time to bring up that I _know _for a fact he's more than enough for me . . . because his robe has pulled open, and as much as I should not be looking . . . I'm looking.

His gaze follows my line of sight. _BINGO_!

Neither of us breathes—not a creature stirs—until . . . _it does_. Grows before our incredulous eyes like time-lapse photography of a flower bending toward the sun.

_Awkward_.

I'm wondering if we can survive this when Edward takes charge.

"Know what? Fuck it!" He unties the belt and throws the robe across the kitchen.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, PAD. I've got him naked. What are you gonna do about it? MWAH! **

**XXX ~BOH**


	68. Chapter 68

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**Chapter 68**

EPOV

She's apprehensive of my gesture, so I need an even grander one to dispel her dread.

It's about her, not_ him_.

I dash to the door, throwing it open forcefully.

Before losing my nerve, I jump off the porch.

Crouching down, then spreading eagle, I make snow angels—front and back—purging my demons.

Looking like a yeti, I shake the snow from my mane—in catharsis—as would a beast shedding its burden before stepping inside.

I've given new meaning to _freezing one's balls off _and grab the robe, drying myself.

Eyeing me, amusedly and tenderly—maybe lovingly—she kisses me.

"Thank you."

* * *

**A/N:**

**I have no words . . .**

**You know that's _no where_ near possible.**

**Wow! **

**Did you like Edward's gesture?**

**What's the wildest thing a guy ever did to lighten your mood?**

**Has Edward proven himself worthy?**

**Please leave us your thoughts.**

**PAD**


	69. Chapter 69

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**CHAPTER 69! (sorry, that is so immature)**

BPOV

"I hope your neighbors aren't nosy. Those angels were only meant for you."

His belated concern makes me giggle. "I don't hear any sirens, so . . ."

Scrubbing the towel against his scalp, he laughs too. "I don't know what came over me. It seemed necessary at the time."

"Mmhmm," I hum, shrugging my shirt off my shoulders, much to his delight. "When it's time," I start, releasing the button of my jeans, "it's necessary . . ." pulling down the zipper, "to do . . ." peeling the denim over my bare bottom and down my thighs, "what needs. . ." and stepping out of them, "to be done."

* * *

**A/N: Looks to me like there's a girl who needs to be done right in front of you, E!**

**And I'm behind again on reviews...SORRY! Went to see _Philomena_ this afternoon. SO GREAT! Mwah!**

**XXX ~BOH**


	70. Chapter 70

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**Chapter 70**

EPOV

I crouch at her feet, meeting plush warm carpeting instead of cold soft snow.

I lean in, kissing the cap of her knee before snaking my tongue around to its underside, dipping into its pit.

I tickle; she buckles.

Steadying her, I palm the plumpness of her butt, while looking upward into her accepting depths, granting me her unconditional permission.

Grabbing her hips, I fold her over my shoulder.

Lifting, I feel her tightened nipples compressing and rubbing against my back while her hair dances across my ass as I carry her to her dimly lit bedroom.

"Let me adore you."

* * *

**A/N:**

**OMG! He did not just say that!**

**GAH!**

**How's our boy doing so far?**

**How do you think he should accomplish this feat?**

**What are your "hottest spots"?**

**Please leave us your thoughts.**

**PAD**


	71. Chapter 71

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**Chapter 71**

BPOV

"Do you want to get under the blankets? You must still be freezing."

"Nope, I'm good. I'd rather have you on top where I can see you. But I am going to unwrap this wrist so I can touch you with two hands."

His intentions send a shiver up my spine, and so does his naked body, hard and ready for me. He crawls up from the foot of the bed, kneeling by my feet. Grasping my heel, he lifts it to his thigh and starts massaging.

"I'm no OSIM," he . . . _apologizes_? . . . as he kneads my toes between his fingers.

* * *

**A/N: SERIOUSLY? You think she'd rather have a damn chair than your hard, ready, naked body massaging her feet? Um...NOPE!**

**GOOD NEWS- PAD and I have finished writing this little drabble-do, and we are going to get it out to you by January 1 in its entirety.  
Since there are 100 chapters plus an epi, that means you'll see 30 more chapters over the next four days. READY?**

**XXX ~BOH**


	72. Chapter 72

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**Chapter 72**

EPOV

". . . but I sure as hell plan on making you hum."

Clasping her toes, pulling her feet to my lips, I place unhurried kisses at their bases.

"_Ohhh_ . . ."

Bella quakes as her feet wrestle, uncertain whether to . . . point or curl.

Slowly inching upward . . . biting the inside of each ankle . . . alternating between each leg . . . I lick my way up her calves . . . earning me even more . . . shudders and shakes.

"_Ahhhh_ . . ."

I admire the beaded sheen coating her heaving chest . . .

_Beautiful!_

Reaching her thighs, I suck their insides, causing her . . . reverberation.

"_Mmmmmm!_"

Battling her increasing arousal, I hold off no longer, "_Unnnnngh!"_ plunging my tongue.

* * *

**A/N:**

**So, are you humming yet?**

**Why is it so hot in here?**

**What should he do next?**

**Please leave us your thoughts.**

**PAD**


	73. Chapter 73

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**Chapter 73**

BPOV

_"Nnnnn!"_

Oh my GOD, his tongue!

It's soft and then hard, licking then thrusting, outside, inside, making me squirm and moan.

_Better hurry up, _I'm telling my orgasm,_ he's not gonna stay down there all day! _He'll give me a little attention, then crawl up for his . . . only he doesn't. When I tuck my chin and look down through Boob Valley, I see the bird's-eye view of a guy who looks pretty damn content to stay right where he is for the duration.

Closing my eyes, I let myself feel, relaxing into the attention he is enthusiastically lavishing on me.

* * *

**A/N: Anyone watch "Big Valley" as a kid? This is the booby version.**

**I truly think this Edward WOULD stay down there all day. Such a good boy!**

**XXX ~BOH**


	74. Chapter 74

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**Chapter 74**

EPOV

Bella paws her comforter as a cat needing to knead, arching, purring, pushing . . . _marking_.

I like the idea of her "scenting" me, being owned by her.

Unlike other encounters, there's no pressure with this gorgeous girl.

I take my time, giving as she receives, as I bring her to the tip of the branch and shake the tree, watching in amusement, as she recoils, unable to glean satisfaction of a successful jump.

But because this is about her, I give in with tongue and teeth, finding one spot as my fingers work the other.

She finally lands with a "Cheshire-grin".

* * *

**A/N:**

**Whoa! Rubbing the goosebumps here.**

**Geez, who was the cat in this scene?**

**It sounds like Edward is really liking what _and_ who he's doing.**

**Does anyone shake your branches?**

**Would you let Edward shake yours?**

**PAD**


	75. Chapter 75

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**Chapter****75**

BPOV

"Mmm, that was niiiice."

He flops onto his back alongside my body while I stretch and yawn like a cat waking up in the sun after a delicious nap—or a delicious orgasm.

Do cats have orgasms?

_Who cares?_

"Glad you enjoyed yourself. I know I did." He covers my breast with his hand and teases at the sensitive nipple. Even without the ice, he draws goosebumps to the surface.

I can feel his thick erection against my thigh, but Edward seems content to relax for a bit.

"Will you stay the night?"

"If you'll have me."

"I would like to—repeatedly."

* * *

**A/N: **Please do not enlighten me in the ways of cat orgasms. Seriously, there are a FEW things I do not need to know!

I'm just starting to catch up on the reviews, and I have to say, you guys are a bunch of crazy nuts. We love you so! Keep it coming!

You're going to see a lot of us in the next four days. We'll be finishing this baby up on New Year's Day. Make your resolutions now!

**XXX ~BOH**


	76. Chapter 76

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**Chapter ****76**

EPOV

"I'll gladly oblige, but let me take care of our clothes first."

The excuse affords me time to not only set up the dryer, but grab condoms from my coat, and check Mom's message, too. Without details, I inform Mom I'm at a friend's, and to not worry.

After washing up, I return with water, cheese, and grapes though Bella's almost asleep.

Setting down what I carried in, I lift Bella placing her under the covers, then I scoot around, sliding in next to her.

Now in my arms, I kiss her forehead.

It's not about me.

"Sweet dreams, Bella."

* * *

**A/N:**

**Aw.**

**What would you do if you had an Edward like this?**

**He is just too special for words.**

**PAD**

_**P.S. (Born): YOU are too special for words, PAD. **_


	77. Chapter 77

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**Chapter 77**

BPOV

I drift off on a cloud of post-orgasmic bliss, snuggled against Edward's chest, wrapped in his capable arms, surrounded by his warmth. It's no wonder my dreams are filled with sweet, toe-sucking masseurs.

As much as I love his company, I'm not used to another body occupying my bed. Waking in the dark, I squint at the clock. _3:19._

No time like the present.

Slinking beneath the sheets, I tease at his warm sac with hot breath and tongue, playing with his body while letting his mind sleep. He swells with desire as I pull him into my mouth.

* * *

**A/N: I might have to try this tonight. *evil grin***

**I never would have imagined I'd write "toe-sucking masseurs." Life is weird.**

**XXX ~BOH**

_**P.S. (PAD, in response to my P.P.S. on 76): Aww, back atcha.**_


	78. Chapter 78

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**Chapter 78**

EPOV 

_There's no other explanation . . . _

_I'm dreaming . . . _

_About dark chocolate strands, big brown eyes, a cute freckled nose, and pouting kissable lips._

_Now lips are wrapped around me . . . _

Ungh_ . . . _

_Along with some tongue . . . _

_And teeth . . . _

Not too much now_ . . . _

_Up . . . and down . . . side . . . to side . . . back . . . and forth . . . top . . . to bottom . . . _

_Oh yeah . . . _

Don't . . . forget . . . the balls . . .

Mmmm . . . love this . . .

_Holyshitmotherfuck! _

_I've hit a wall . . ._

_My fingers are burrowing . . . _

_It's soft and thick . . . _

_Must hold . . . _

_The wall . . . _

_In place . . . _

_While balls . . . _

_Are touched . . . _

_Cupped . . . _

_Tightened?_

"What the . . . _Bella_?"

"Mmmm."

"Oh, Baby . . .

Don't stop . . .

Almost . . .

Right . . .

THERE . . .

**FUUUUUUUUCK** . . .

Nnnngggghhhh . . .

Nnnggghhh . . .

Nngghh . . .

Ngh!"

* * *

**A/N:**

**What a nice wake up call.**

**How did we do?**

**We know Edward's thoughts; what's Bella thinking right now?**

**Leave us your words.**

**PAD**


	79. Chapter 79

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**Chapter 79**

**BPOV **

Throwing back the covers, he grins down at me, sleepy, happy, blissed-out. "You're real."

I swallow the last drops while guiding my electric hair back where it belongs. _Snap, crackle, pop_! "And so are you."

I climb up his body into his open, welcoming arms and tuck my face into the warm skin at the base of his neck.

"Mmm," I purr as his nails scratch absently up and down my back. "Sorry I fell asleep on you earlier."

"Don't be." He kisses the top of my head. "I loved watching you sleep."

Tweaking his nipple, I tease, "That's creepy."

* * *

**A/N: I figured we should throw in at least one canon moment here!**

**Hope you're enjoying! MWAH!**

**xxx ~BOH**


	80. Chapter 80

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**Chapter 80**

EPOV

"No it's not. It's cute. You talk in your sleep."

My index finger over her heart feels a skipped beat as she replies, "Oh, God, please tell me my subconscious word vomit did not yield anything stupid . . . _or overly humiliating_."

Thinking back about her hysterical unintelligible gibberish, she uttered a few coherent phrases.

"You mentioned something about Charlie being mad about you not visiting and, I quote, 'Conner . . . asshole . . . prick . . . stiffed me . . . rent.'" (She's going to hate me for this one.) "You also said, 'Edward . . . _mmm_ . . . sweet . . . fuckhot . . . hero . . . _nice_ . . . momma's boy . . ._ loves pussy._'"

"Ugh! Fucking kill me now!"

* * *

**A/N:**

**Hah!**

**Poor Bella, well at least we know a little of what she's been thinking about.**

**What do you think Edward's going to say about Bella's comments?**

**Review us yours.**

**PAD**


	81. Chapter 81

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**Chapter 81**

BPOV

"Wait a second. I really called you 'fuckhot'?"

Edward snorts. "_That's_ what you take issue with?"

Not really. I just don't want to discuss the loving pussy thing . . . or anything else for that matter. Ugh. I pull my pillow over my head. Maybe he'll forget everything in the morning.

No such luck.

The pillow is pulled away, and in its place, a slightly disheveled but still crazy-good-looking-considering-the-hour Edward. "Who's Charlie?"

"Oh. Nobody. Just this guy I used to live with."

He makes a really cute frowny face. "Was it serious?"

"It lasted about eighteen years."

"_What_?"

"Charlie's my father, goofball!"

* * *

**A/N: Oh, Edward. You fell for that?**

***SMH***

**XXX ~BOH**


	82. Chapter 82

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**Chapter 82**

EPOV

"The robe was intended for Charlie?"

"Yeah, although you make it look incredibly better. He's getting another because _this_ one's staying here, where I can eye it."

"Speaking of things to keep one's eye on, please let me keep your car to fix it properly. I'll give you my truck until I make the repairs. Can you shift a stick?"

"Well, judging by how I got you in gear, I'd say yes, even though you leaked a considerable amount of transmission fluid; however, if we're talking manual versus automatic, I _can't_ drive stick. But I'm sure Dad will shuttle me."

* * *

**A/N:**

**Do you think Bella's planning on keeping Edward in that robe?  
****What do you think about Edward tying up Bella's car?  
****Is anyone out there into leaky transmissions?  
****Please leave your thoughts.**

**If you like the drabble format and my interactive style, please check out my suspense/romance "Never Judge By The Cover". I just posted two chapters on Fanfiction and will do so on Fictionpad. Be forewarned you may need a good dictionary.**

**PAD**


	83. Chapter 83

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**Chapter 83**

BPOV

Edward throws a leg over my hip and presses his whole naked body against my back. A playful flex brings his stick shift in contact with my butt cheeks. "Mmm, all this talk about transmission fluid . . ." he growls.

Just in case, I crane my neck to make sure he's joking. His toothy grin gleams in the LED lighting from my clock radio. "Damn, you're awfully energetic for 3:53 a.m."

"Hey, you're the one who woke me up!"

And up he is. And cuddly and sexy and why the hell not?

"Wanna grab a condom from the night stand?"

* * *

**A/N: He IS a mechanic, let's not forget! Probably A WEE BIT turned on by transmission fluid. **

**OH! She's got condoms! What a gal.**

**Your reviews, predictions, and responses are keeping us wildly entertained! I'd also like to welcome our newest reader/reviewers! We're ****so glad you've found us. **

**XXX ~BOH**


	84. Chapter 84

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**Chapter 84**

EPOV

"Brought my own; I was a boy scout, too. You know the motto. Plus it's weird . . . using condoms a girl buys to do other guys."

"They were Conner's."

"That's even weirder! Also judging by the look on your face, I may not have necessarily fit . . . into those others."

"Point taken."

I can sense Bella's impatience by how she's backing her ass into my groin, and luckily Little Ed's not discouraged by the prior conversation as he stands at attention, saluting her.

Gloved and ready, I reach around to her front, testing the waters with my fingers.

"You're_ so_ wet."

"Mmm."

* * *

**A/N:**

**What do you think about Edward's thoughts on girls having condoms?**

**You know the motto, so do you think Edward's prepared?**

**Do you think Little Ed is all for testing the waters?**

**Please share your thoughts.**

**PAD**

_**P.S. (Born): "...testing the waters" *SNICKERS***_


	85. Chapter 85

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**Chapter 85**

BPOV

His hand grips my thigh and lifts. I hold my breath as the cool tip meets my opening.

"Relax," he whispers, drawing a line of kisses up my back. Warm breath at my ear, he soothes, "I won't hurt you, Bella."

Gentle but determined, he finds his way inside, obliterating all thoughts of sleep mumbling and other boys' condoms. His palm rides up my hip and comes to rest in his favorite spot. My nipples could not be happier I've found myself a breast man.

Lower parts are equally thrilled with my new . . . boyfriend? mechanic? chef? launderer?

_Mmm . . . lover! Yessss._

* * *

**A/N: He won't hurt her-awwwwwwwww!**

**It's nice to have a launderer, too. ****Just sayin'**

**XXX ~BOH**


	86. Chapter 86

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**Chapter 86**

Less than two days, and I'm falling hard.

Money's extremely tight, as is _something else _of hers right now.

Would she consider moving in?

_Too soon, but this isn't._

"Oh, Baby . . . like a vice . . . so good."

_"Mmm."_

I move my hand off her breast to grab her hip already joining the other, seeking leverage.

Grind . . .

Swivel . . .

Thrust . . .

_Repeat_

"Like it deep?"

I'm against her wall.

_"Yes!"_

"Angled."

_"Oh!"_

"Fast."

_"UhUhUhUhUhUhUhUhUhUhUh."_

Uncertain she's coherent, I bend her over, playing her like a pinball machine,

slapping her flippers, giving her all my body English and a few choice expletives, too.

"NNNNnnnnnngggggg."

_Heaven._

* * *

**A/N:**

**Sounds like our boy knows what he's doing.**

**I need to take a shower, how about you?**

**Please share your thoughts.**

**PAD**

_**P.S. (Born): I never played pinball like that before!**_


	87. Chapter 87

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**Chapter 87**

BPOV

Never, ever have I come this way before. Then again, never, ever have I been with a man like Edward Cullen. The shy, greasy mechanic shopping for his mother's birthday present turns out to be a fiercely protective, wildly passionate lover—physically and emotionally equipped to satisfy on every level.

Our middle-of-the-night love-making drains us both. Tangled and drowsy, we fall asleep still connected.

The alarm clock's buzz is a rude wake-up call. How will we fare in the light of day?

Nervous and sticky, I shift in his arms.

"Morning," he says, a broad, carefree smile lighting up the room.

* * *

**A/N: Aww, what did she have to be nervous about?**

**Anyone else wake up sticky and connected? It's FICTION, people! Nothing funny about a UTI. Seriously. Stow that shit.**

**This has been a Public Service Announcement from your friendly neighborhood pumpkin.**

**XXX ~BOH**


	88. Chapter 88

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**Chapter 88**

EPOV

"Morning." She smirks, slowly. "Breakfast?"

"Sure. I'll clean the snow off the vehicles. Keys?"

Both dressing, sneaking glances, we dread covering skin.

_Naked Bella? Hmm._

Later, dude.

Outside, I'm grinning, eyeing the faint outline of my grand gesture.

_You have it bad._

Snow cleared, driveway shoveled, vehicles started, I return inside.

Bacon and pancakes, warm syrup, hot coffee, _beautiful girl_.

"Ready?"

"Sure, you know where I work; I'll follow you there."

"I made you something."

Smiling, she hands me a large, empty, container with a hole in the top and the words:

"Edward's Tips" across the front.

I'm officially marked.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Damn, he shovels and cleans off cars, too. I want one, how about you?**

**How did you like Bella's subtle hint at branding her man?**

**Don't you just love a girl who's assertive?**

**Please share your thoughts.**

**PAD**

_**P.S. (Born): I think the tip jar was my favorite PAD surprise of all! **_


	89. Chapter 89

**{{{ SHAKE! }}}**

**Chapter 89**

BPOV

Another buzz in my khakis—I stifle a giggle. I don't think my customers will appreciate my boyfriend's ability to tease and amuse me even from a distance, and I know my stupid manager won't.

Edward's been texting me all day:

_Got your baby up on the lift, checking out her undercarriage._

_Nice set of headlights._

_Fuel pump's spurting._

_She's an ornery old girl!_

I sneak into the office to check out his latest text. . . _Tip jar full. Pants empty._

Grinning, I send back: **_EMPTY? OH NO!_**

_Pants full, but just for you. *wink*_

**_How much longer 'til you rescue me?_**

* * *

**A/N: Oh come on. His pants could never be EMPTY!**

**xxx ~BOH**


	90. Chapter 90

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**Chapter 90**

EPOV

_Two hours. Ready to meet Mom?_

**_Yeah, I hope she likes me._**

_You kidding? We've been through this. She'll love you._

I already do.

**_Bringing the truck to get the chair?_**

_Yup, got a surprise, too._

**_Ooh, what?_**

_Nuh unh, you'll see when I get there. Muah! Back to work._

I've spent every free minute getting to know Bella since meeting her three weeks ago, except for those I've secretly spent restoring and painting her car while waiting for her parts to come in.

It's not just Mom's party making today special. I'm asking Bella to move in with me.

* * *

**A/N:**

**He's such a sweetie pie. **

**Will Bella and Mom hit it off?**

**Do you think it's too soon to move in?**

**Please leave us your thoughts.**

**PAD**

_**P.S. (Born): In case you missed it, PAD just time jumped 3 weeks! (I thought I was writing the next day!)**_


	91. Chapter 91

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**Chapter 91**

BPOV

A thin swipe of lip gloss'll do . . . I don't want Mrs. Cullen to think I'm slutty, hence the semi-conservative cashmere sweater I picked up on post-holiday markdown. Money's tight but you only meet your boyfriend's mother once.

"Bella! Mr. AC/DC is here! Hey, can you ask him to sing before you leave?"

I push open the office door, unfortunately missing James's face. "He's a mechanic, not a rock star. Is his chair down at the loading dock?"

"Wow, you look—"

"Gorgeous," my boyfriend interrupts.

"Edward! Hi!"

He kisses all my lip gloss off. "Mmm, peppermint?"

"So, what's this surprise?"

* * *

**A/N: Oh, James, you greedy bastardo!**

**Well, what I meant was, one mother PER boyfriend (except for those blended families...hmmm...)**

**XXX ~BOH**

**_P.S. (Born still): PAD's birthday is coming up on Jan. 4 and her sweet friend (and mine) OhGeeFantasy wrote this adorable one-shot for her. Check it out and leave them both some love:_ s/9976897/1/Cupcakes-and-Happily-Ever-After**


	92. Chapter 92

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**Chapter 92**

EPOV

"You'll see. Let's get the chair."

"What are you so 'chippy' about?"

"Can't I be happy I'm bringing my girl to finally meet my mom?"

Sun-burnt pink tints her cheeks. "I guess so."

Rearing the building, the dock's in sight.

I towed Bella's car with my truck and parked it here before greeting her.

The guys load the crate as I sit in front with Bella.

Staring at her car, squinting, she can't put it together.

"That car's like mine, but it seems brand new, but that's . . . my . . . license plate. **Holy shit!** Edward, is it . . .?

"Yes, Bella, it's your car."

* * *

**A/N:**

**Aw, isn't he just the best-est boyfriend?**

**Do you think Bella likes her car?**

**He's a sneaky little shit isn't he?**

**Please share your thoughts.**

**PAD**

_**P.S. (Born): Chippyward! Happy happy happy.**_


	93. Chapter 93

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**Chapter 93**

BPOV

"OHMYGOD!"

Edward laughs and pokes his fingers in his ears.

"It's not shit-stain brown anymore! OHMYGOD! How did you do this? You're amazing! Seriously, how did you DO THIS?"

I throw my arms around his neck and plant a huge kiss on his lips before skipping over to my bright red hotrod. Reaching for my door, my hand is halted.

"That's my job," says my sexy, gentlemanly mechanic.

I kiss him again when he leans through the open window. "You like?"

"Yes, Edward. I love . . . so much."

_Close call, Bella. Thought you were gonna save that little morsel for later._

* * *

**A/N: PHEW!**

**XXX ~BOH**


	94. Chapter 94

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**Chapter 94**

EPOV

Bella's beaming brighter than the xenons I installed for her and looks especially hot rockin' her sexy-conservative look against the new seats and interior.

"Would you follow me for once?" I'm anxious to see her face in my rearview mirror.

"I'll follow you anywhere." That sounds perfect.

We head towards Mom's, which is challenging; I need to keep my eyes on the road and not on my gorgeous girlfriend who can't seem to stop smiling.

Finally arrived, I help Bella out of her car, noting there's an unfamiliar Crown Victoria parked next to Mom's Volvo.

"Edward, that's my dad's car."

* * *

**A/N:**

**Why would Charlie be at Esme's party?**

**Please leave us your thoughts.**

**PAD**

_**P.S. (PAD): **_**This is in appreciation of the wonderful birthday tribute story, "Cupcakes and Happily Ever After" OhGeeFantasy wrote in honor of my birthday posted on Fanfiction. Gee, thank you for your loving tribute to me. This is special beyond words. "And from that day on, I referrered to her as 'the-best-birthday-present-giver-ever', and she should accept that title with pride. Gee is the-most-perfect-girlfriend-ever, and I am honored as much as I am humbled to call her my friend. And she better accept her title proudly. I love you, Gee! Muah, thank you so much! PAD xxxxxooooo  
s/9976897/1/Cupcakes-and-Happily-Ever-After**


	95. Chapter 95

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**Chapter 95**

BPOV

"_Charlie_?"

"_Bells_?"

"_Mom_?"

"Edward, meet my friend Charles. Charles, my apparently flabbergasted son, Edward."

Edward reaches for my father's hand, looking terrified.

"Charlie, this is Edward, my boyfriend." My father goes from _I'm-the-nonthreatening-guy-dating-your-Mom_ to _I-will-shoot-your-balls-off-if-you-hurt-my-daughter _father in the span of a handshake, while Edward transforms accordingly.

"Very nice to meet you, sir."

"And you must be Bella?"

Oh, shit! The MOTHER! "Yes, Mrs. Cullen. Happy birthday. You know my dad?"

"We met at bingo a couple weeks ago, went out for a coffee with our winnings after."

Poor Edward, totally intimidated, blurts out, "I owe you a robe."

"You _what_?"

* * *

**A/N: I LOVE BLURTERS! **

**Happy New Year, Shakers! Love you guys!**

**XXX ~BOH**


	96. Chapter 96

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**Chapter 96**

EPOV

Shitshitshitshitshit! I have to be careful how I word this so I still keep my parts—Bella holds so near and dear—intact.

"Sir, Bella and I met when I was purchasing my mom's birthday present . . .

She had car trouble. I'm a mechanic. I offered to help . . .

I made temporary repairs and followed to ensure her safety . . .

She had me stay because of the storm and let me use the robe she'd purchased for you for Christmas."

There, completely innocent.

"Oh, Charles, that must have been the night I called Edward but didn't tell him you were staying overnight with me."

WHATTHEFUCK!

* * *

**A/N:**

**Now I have to pick ****_my_**** jaw up off the floor.**

**What do you think Edward's thinking?**

**What's Bella thinking?**

**What are you thinking?**

**Sorry about the repeat A/N's, I guess I'm not thinking.**

**Please leave us your thoughts.**

**PAD**

_**P.S. (Born): Maybe Edward should've answered the phone! O.o**_


	97. Chapter 97

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**Chapter 97**

BPOV

"The Nap robe?" Charlie wails, shaking his head back and forth between Edward and me. "_He was_ . . .?"

"Oh, Charles," Mrs. Cullen scolds with a slap, "stop being such a prude."

He crosses his arms and pouts, which gets Edward's mouth going again. "Did I tell you about the body work I did?"

I cover my face with my hands. I cannot watch this train wreck. Apparently, neither can his mom. "Son, I really don't think he—"

"Not Bella! The Prelude! I gave her a new alternator, upgraded the wiring, eliminated the shake, and gave her a fresh coat of paint."

* * *

**A/N: SHEESH, Charlie!**

**I guess my first New Year's resolution is to catch up on reviews for SHAKE! You guys are not making it easy to keep pace here, bless your nutty hearts! ****Seriously, your support, humor, and friendship are much appreciated. **

**We have 100 chapters total plus a two-part epilogue, so you'll see how it all works out by the end of the EST day (it's 9:30 AM as I post this). Any guesses how it ends****?**

**XXX ~BOH**


	98. Chapter 98

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**Chapter 98**

EPOV

"I took care of her carpet and added some of _my parts_ to her interior . . .

Worked out her dings and scratches . . .

Added stabilizer bars and beefed up her suspension; _she was driven pretty hard_ . . .

Gave her three coats of wax and buffed her out . . .

Now she _really hums_ when you turn her key."

Everyone's slack-jawed by my description, and Bella's beet red.

Grabbing me by the elbow, Bella escorts me towards the door, "Edward, let's get your mom's present."

"Let's," I go without protest.

Using a crowbar, hand truck, ratchet straps, and Bella, I finally get the chair inside.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Geez, Edward, talkin' about a girl's carpet in front of her dad and adding your parts to her interior?**

**Yikes, you're lucky you didn't get a black eye!**

**Do you think Mom's going to like her chair?**

**How about Charlie?**

**Please leave your thoughts.**

**PAD**


	99. Chapter 99

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**Chapter 99**

BPOV

"Edward! You shouldn't have! This has to be three months' salary!"

My boyfriend turns bright pink. "I get tips, Ma. It's cool. Climb in so Bella can show you how it works."

I shift into demo mode, and soon I have Mrs. Cullen undulating and purring. My father clears his throat and leans in to whisper something in her ear. "Oh, Charles!" she giggles.

Edward and I watch helplessly while our parents make plans to break in the massage chair. I toss Charlie the remote and tug Edward into the kitchen.

"That was supposed to be us!"

"About that, Bella . . ."

* * *

**A/N: Gross. But really, wouldn't it have been a lot grosser for E and B to do it on his MOTHER'S CHAIR? :P**

**ONE MORE CHAPPIE!**

**xxx ~BOH**


	100. Chapter 100

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**Chapter 100**

EPOV

"I have something to show you."

Fingers entwined, she takes in my place.

She smells fresh-cut lumber, while her hands rub rich-stained woods, as her eyes absorb the new kitchen, full bath, yet unfurnished space.

"Edward, it's beautiful!"

"Bella, _I love you_ . . . and with money tight for us, _please_ move in with me."

"Oh, God, Edward, I love you, too, and YES, I will."

"On that note, I have something else to show you . . . I bought a Tempur-Pedic® bed . . . toyed with their massage and wave electronics options . . . added a stronger motor . . . This baby_ really _shakes."

"What are we waiting for?"

* * *

**A/N:**

**Yes, you two, what are you waiting for?**

**Gotta love a boy who tinkers.**

**Any guesses as to how we're ending this?**

**Please leave us your thoughts.**

**It's been a wild ride.**

**Please share your thoughts.**

**Muah!**

**PAD**

_P.S. (Born): Please note the trademark symbol. My writing partner is the most conscientious purveyor of smut I have ever partnered with. _


	101. Chapter 101

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**EPILOGUE**

BPOV

"I'm so proud of you, babe. Southern Region Manager of the Year three years running!"

"All because of you, my melodic massage-chair mechanic!"

"Mmm," he hums, grabbing my naked hips as I straddle his lap, "what a sweet reward."

"Which? Me or the chair?"

"Pfft, girls are a dime a dozen! The OSIM, on the other hand, she's special."

"She, huh?" I smile as his eyes roll back. "One girl on top and another below. What more could any man want?"

"Don't be jealous, baby. The top'll always be my favorite." With that, he lifts my hips and skewers me.

* * *

EPOV

80" screen, well-placed mirrors, computer connected, and Bella reverse-cowgirling me in our OSIM—this moment's right.

"Mmmm, best position yet."

"The view's spectacular." I ogle jiggling tits.

Grabbing the TV remote, I link to my laptop while setting the chair to max-vibrate.

Retro AC/DC plays our song, staging another grand gesture as the words, "BELLA, WILL YOU MARRY ME?" flash on screen while Bella's mid-orgasming.

She says,"YES!"—without take backs—and kisses me, while I fumble for her ring in the side pouch.

_Perfection._

This is the life I've envisioned for us—just me, my girl, and some incredible shaking.

* * *

**Authors' Notes:**

**_Born_****: ****We hope you all enjoyed our "little birthday collabadabble" for Sandy Southern, a great friend who **_**really**_** likes hot mechanics. Thank you all for following and playing along with us. Your nutty reviews kept us going (so I guess you can all blame yourselves!). ****PAD, writing this shizzle with you was a wild, exciting, unpredictable, educational, and entirely joyful experience. You were ever patient with my many posting errors (!) and I loved tumbling around with your cursor and your brain in our gdoc!**

**For my next act . . . I'm working on _Remastering_ _Marcus_, a multi-chapter KEA future-take starring Marcus (as himself). I plan to start posting here next week, so if you're interested, you might want to put me on author alert. Until then, if you'd like to brush up on your Marcus, you can find him on my _Kinkily Ever After_ blog (see my profile for link) in chapters 22, 23, 38, 80, 92, and 93. The Master has assigned a lot of homework!**

**Happy, healthy, crazy fictional New Years to you all! Take it away...PAD!**

**XXX ~BOH**

.

**_PAD_****:  
Muah! Thank you Born for allowing me to play along with you on this incredible journey. Ever the kind and merciful mistress you are, you allowed me to be me, yet pushed when I needed discipline.**

**And thank you, YOU AWESOME READERS AND REVIEWERS, who stayed with us every step of the way and gave me a lot more confidence and motivation to finish my own work. If you enjoy my style of writing (and craziness), you may want to check out some of my stories on Fanfiction and Fictionpad and give me a nudge to finish them. I will also be posting _SHAKE!_ on my Fictionpad site.**

**BIG MUAH AND LOTS OF HUGS!  
PAD**


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